Below is an excerpt from one of the letters my wife Kimberly and I have written to our loved ones, to be read in the event of our deaths. This letter is not itself a legal document – such as a will or trust – but is intended as a supplement to them. It explains how and why certain decisions were made, and also provides guidance about the intent and purpose of funds we provide and how we would like certain details carried-out.

The following section of the letter is directed to the family members specified in our wills as guardians for our two children.  The funds mentioned are term life insurance benefits paid directly to the guardians:

We expect that, in order to accommodate Audrey & Sophie (our two young daughters) into your household, you may decide to move to a larger house, or add additional living space, or make other changes to your current residence.  We are allocating $350,000 to you for this purpose (the New York City suburbs are very expensive).  A great deal of changes may be needed in order for you all to live comfortably, including larger or additional bedrooms, a larger dining table and eating area,  another bathroom, upgraded electrical or water service, etc.

It’s not important to us that Audrey & Sophie each have their own bedrooms, or that they share a bedroom – what’s important is that you talk with them about the issue and use your best judgment when making the decision.  As always, they should be treated lovingly, but no better or worse than your own children.

You may need a new, larger vehicle, either now or in the future, as well as another one six years or so later.  We are allocating $60,000 to you for this purpose, figuring that a mid-level (minivan – brand omitted) today is around $30,000.

Life throws us all a few unexpected twists and turns, so we’re allocating an additional $90,000 to you for a rainy day or opportunity, per your judgment.

The $500,000 funds above ($350k + $60k + $90k) are entirely yours, with virtually* no strings attached. For example, if your larger house, bought or built in part with the money above, sells for a ton of money sometime down the road, that does not belong to Audrey & Sophie – the sale proceeds would all belong to you, to do with as you wish.  We hope you will consider keeping the funds we provide in an account separate from your other household and business accounts, but that is your choice.

*Our only request is that you amend your wills so that in the event of your death prior to Sophie reaching age 18 that least $250,000 of the above house funds go to (Audrey & Sophie’s alternate guardian) for the same reasons the funds are going to you – to comfortably offset the expenses associated with Audrey and Sophie.  Once Sophie (our youngest) reaches age 18, feel free to amend your will(s) and allocate this money however you wish.

My next post includes the next section of this letter, outlining specific dollar amounts we provide to cover the extra day-to-day costs our guardians will incur while raising our children.

Mark Gavagan is the author of two books to help families organize their finances and get their personal affairs in order: “The It’s All Right Here Life & Affairs Organizer” and “12 Critical Things Your Family Needs To Know” .